Thursday, July 31, 2014

Thank you, Emilie!

Today I went on a tab hunt again, and decided to pick some more at the very long Job Hunt/ WTF am I doing with my life/ WTF do I want to do with my life tangent. This particular one started at Life Hacker a good 6 months ago, and has been an ongoing follow up link progression. I have been chasing down link after link, day after day, and I poke at the pile of resources every once in a while.
After months of work, I have really begun to focus in on the good stuff, the important and relevant stuff. Today, I found a blog called 'Puttylike'. There I found the 'Undeclared for Life Manifesto'. For the first time, I felt like I was reading something by someone who understands me and my interests, because that is who she is!

All of the other things I had read were trying to get me to find something I like/ am good at and stick with it. Not helpful when I am good/ like a lot of things, and as much as I try, just plain cannot simply choose one. I am interested in so many things, I want to do so many things, I can't imagine spending my whole life in one area of interest. My problem isn't that I don't know what I like, which is what most of the articles I found were about. The problem is I don't know what I like best, nor how to make money/ a career out of liking a lot of things. It has been frustrating, since most resources had me skipping ahead the 'Find what you love!' parts, which then went into 'Follow your passion! Here is where you can find work at it!'. Ok, great. There is a gap between those two steps I have fallen between that I feel most people don't experience. Which job do I choose? How do I convince said job interest I am 'dedicated' and am a 'professional' in the area when I have had little training, and am not focused on moving up a ladder in that one path? No one wants to hear either. No one wants an employee like me. There is no room for a Jane of All Trades in the modern workplace, where corporate structure has so carefully laid out and planned the business model, and only relevant positions are needed to make the model work. I don't fit into any model. I am my own miniature model, actually. I have miniature versions of everything inside me, instead of just being one regular sized item. I feel like my own self-contained package that says a lot and is entertaining to look at and discuss, but seems to serve no useful purpose.

Talking to others is just as frustrating. They seem to think I am not looking hard enough for work (I admit, I have stopped actively looking after years of finding only the same stuff), and even worse, misunderstand my skills and the skills required in the workplace. My mom seems to think that since I am and 'artist' who likes computers, it is the same as 'graphic designer'. She thinks that being good with computers equals 'digital design'. And she doesn't understand why I don't apply for these jobs or why I can't seem to get them when I have applied. Most people I know are the same way about all my skills. I dabble in it, that means I am an expert, right? If I have shown interest, it means I should get a job doing it! I should focus on that, go to school again (which I have considered... but there are SO MANY things I want to study that I can't decide what to go for! Different schools for everything! Grrr...) I applied for a graphic design job, using my self-taught Photoshop skills as my main selling point. They wanted me to sit down with the design guy who was leaving and show what I could do. He seemed frustrated and pained as he watched me work, and I knew I wasn't doing it the way that was taught in design school. I wasn't using the appropriate tools for the tasks, and it took me longer because of it. I was always happy with my photoshop and digital work, but I realized after that I really am still a novice in terms of professional knowledge with it. Plus, I learned on and have been using Photoshop 7 for over 10 years now. WAY outdated. And I still don't know how to use everything in 7. Obviously I didn't get the job (and not even a callback, even when I called THEM back, a tiny office of 5, asking for a followup, and never got one... I guess it was THAT bad...) It was simple work too, I thought I did ok, but apparently I blew it. That particular case left a bad taste in my mouth, and I have not applied for a digital position since.

So, anyways, I spent the day reading through that manifesto, then following more link tangents that spouted from it. I am considering joining her group, and seeing what that is like. Seems like some nice, like-minded types, and I could use some help staying motivated, as well as having some people who understand me that I can to talk to...

Spent time reading through some more D&D stuff too, just confirming all my changes are Kosher and trying to chase down info on hanging issues too. It was a couple hours worth of reading and clicking around that happened in the middle of reading the Puttylike and related tangents, so I thought it was worth mentioning.

Ugh, there goes M Monster again, gnashing away at me... I'm spent.

A final note-- I need to start up my comics again, this has been really bugging me. I have tons in sketchbooks that I never finished, and even more in my mind I haven't even sketched. I set up this blog as a place for LG, but have yet to post any comics... The first set is pretty easy, but there are some little addendum comics I want to insert between the ones I already published, so I need to do some work before just slapping them up. Of course, I haven't finished some of those, and some I haven't even sketched. Argh. DAMN YOU ADD brain! -_-

Closing out tabs from today, decided to watch Well done, but not my kind of movie. I stuck through it and watched it all, however. I know lots of people that would love this film. I personally just can't stand watching stuff about relationships, I CANNOT STAND chick flicks or romcoms. I have limited tolerance for straight dramas. While I like depth, and lots of it, I feel stuff about relationships is self indulgent, narcissistic, and... I ran out of repertoire, it's late. I just don't like to watch stuff about it, I guess I feel it is personal and not a world I feel comfortable in or even can find myself giving two shits about. It's their business. I care mildly if I am connected to the person, and that is the most I can muster. I guess I will put this out there, that I plan on specifically NOT featuring relationship love stories or any googly eye moments in 'On Tour'. There will be NONE of it in my sci-fi stuff. It has NO place there. 'On Tour', due to it's nature, will have references to it, but won't focus on it. I won't be playing ANY 'match up' or 'romantic tension' bullshit. Ugh. Gag me. I wrote some non fiction in a non fiction course while in college. I did NOT want to take the course, but it was required for my minor. For my main project I had no ideas. So, I did a kind of journal about my relationships with M Monster, real life friends, and virtual friends. It was basically current events in my boring, tediously uneventful life. The most exciting stuff happened while playing video games with strangers, and most of the 'excitement' was typical, overblown, and forgettable internet drama. I thought it was awful. My classmates, especially females, LOVED it. Like, I had three requests after the final project begging me to finish and send them the story. I never touched the story again. I looked at it years later, and cringed. I think I might delete it entirely in the not too distant future. My hesitation comes from the overwhelming, and unexpectedly positive, responses to it. It would be long gone otherwise.

As a side note, this journaling has made we realize that I do play less than I thought I do, and I actually am 'busy' (it's in quotes AND italicized for a reason...) most of the time. I am wasting time, but I am not. I am not accomplishing things, but I am learning and exploring in the vast majority of my time. That has to count for something... as least I tell myself that so I don't feel like such a bum...

Ok, only time for an hour or so of video games. I have work in the morning...

Saturday, July 12, 2014

How I Plan to Dominate the World

...but not rule it. I have morals, I can't be a politician!

I will write a great TV show that will save the American sitcom while also being the cure for reality TV. It will fill people's lives with joys, and make them think about bigger things in both their personal lives and those around them. They will laugh at the absurdity, cry at the honesty, and reflect on the interactions that seem so simple on the inside, but so complex on the inside, they seem to hit deeply close to home.

I will also write an epic sci-fi universe into a TV or movie series that will fill the hearts, minds, and imaginations of those kindred sci-fi lovers out there. I will see the series through as long as there are fans to support it. It will help fill some of those empty spots in the sci-fi lovers' hearts from movies that fell short or never saw sequels, expansive book series that were never finished, and cancellation of humbling, historically epic sci-fi shows like Firefly. While not a clone by any means, it contains the spirit and similar feel of 'realness' and 'rawness' that show possessed. The prequel will be a world that feels so real and believable, it will feel like peeking into the history of the future. The main story will be a drama about our own universe, the epic struggles that will be faced by humans living in such radically different physical space than we currently do, yet with hauntingly familiar scenarios to modern times and history.

I will then go on to save the food industry and stem the tide of the obesity epidemic in the US. I will do this by starting a food manufacturing company that will make healthy, prepackaged food, as well as limited ingredient items and recipe items, with the goal of all items to be free of additives that are generally considered harmful and unhealthy, and to reduce the amount of manufacturing done to the food as much as possible for items that are prepackaged. On top of all this, the items will be priced competitively with major food manufacturers and have full distribution to all major grocery stores. This will be achieved by the corporate structure not being for profit by shareholders, but run by competent individuals who believe in the broader goal of the company more than money. Any time those on top get a raise or bonus, every employee below them gets the same percentage of bonus. All employees will be stockholders. All employees will be paid living wages. Nothing will be outsourced. When the company becomes large enough, we will expand and dedicate ourselves to also owning and operating organic farms to grow and raise all food for our company under our same guidelines. No profit is expected to be made for me in this endeavor, but I expect to create many middle-class income earning factory workers and farmers.

I will create a modestly comfortable and self-sufficient lifestyle for myself. With any money I find to be in excess of my own comfort and personal development will be used to create micro non-profits in areas I am currently passionate about, established all around the country and globe for various causes.

One such cause will be creating safe, free to use, artist spaces and studio space for aspiring and budding artists. It will have walls both outdoors and indoors for street/ graffiti art pieces to be prominently created on and displayed. Ideally, these locations will be in an old warehouse, factory, or converted office building that is centrally located in urban areas for ease of access and prominent foot traffic for viewing of art by the public. Each location will be completely customized by the needs of the local art community, with different equipment dictated by the type of art participants are creating. It will have lockers and space for artists, with the only condition to maintain free space being to use it on a regular basis. Spaces can be paid for if the artist wants to store their things and won't be able to come around to use it. There will be power tools and equipment for sculptors to use, as well as ovens and kilns for ceramic and glass. There will always be staff on hand to assist and supervise use of equipment and offer advice to help. Artists can display and sell their pieces and services in the art gallery dedicated to displaying pieces made by members of the studio, and the gallery will take a small commission to help pay for the studio and staff. Affordable classes will be offered, and members can teach them, with the studio taking a small commission to help pay for the space. All efforts will be made to make each location self-sufficient, setting an example for artists on how they can also do so. As an artist, I believe so, so strongly in the importance of having a community. It's effects on creativity cannot be stressed enough. Helping each other create, learn, and grow as artists is the critical first step in developing artistic ability, creating art, and ultimately, earning a living following a passion for art.

Here is the elevator pitch version, because I have been told I need one!

I will write a TV show that captures the sublime, helping people see the beauty of life, and will make them experience a whole range of emotions and introspection for the betterment of how we treat each other. It will not only save US sitcoms with the new method I use to write the show, it will cause a chain reaction in how TV is written enough to become the cure for reality TV.

I will also write a sci-fi TV series or movie series that will be another one of the epic universe greats. It will be expansive, believable, raw, and fantastical. The large problems will be hauntingly similar to ones we currently face, with the knowledge that history tends to repeat itself.

I will then go on to save the US food industry and stem the obesity epidemic by curing our food supply. My company will offer healthy prepackaged foods and ingredients with as minimal processing and additives as can be achieved, but at a price competitive with the major food manufacturers and distribution just as wide. The company will not be run by shareholders looking to make a profit, but by leaders who believe in the company cause. Our employees will be paid living wages, and will receive equal percentages in bonuses and blanket raises as those running the business.