Emotional manipulation

I share inner, personal feelings with no one in particular when I post online. Just the satisfaction of knowing it was read is usually enough for me. I get it off my chest, and I feel better.

There are various reasons why using it against me does nothing to me, but instead reveals your true character. First, what I say to myself in my depression, 9 times out of 10, is far, far worse, uglier, and more honest than ANYTHING you could EVER say to me. I have most likely already told myself whatever insult you have for me, and I already know my personal flaws well enough that I won't hear anything I didn't already know.

Second, you are the internet. Nameless, faceless. Sometimes, certain names get personalities attached to them and I even fool myself into considering people in the same regard as I would a cool classmate or coworker I know in real life. But, here is the thing. You never got as close to me as you think you did. I hold very, very few people close enough that they can hurt me badly. I have been burned far worse by RL friends than 'internet friends'. My boyfriend, my RL best friend, my family. They are the only ones that can touch me on that level. I let them into my heart on a personal, deep level. It is one that can hurt me for a very long time. Internet people are flesh wounds. Scratch me, I whirl around and smack you. The scratch heals, I am over it.

My only mistake was letting you close enough to scratch me in the first place. I take my licks for that one. I took a chance. Sometimes, I get gentle caresses and hugs. Those are worth the risk I take, which is why my ways won't be changed by your slight.

Trying to use the personal things I posted against me for some petty, stupid misunderstanding is pathetic. It only shows how ugly you really are inside, and who is worth keeping in contact with.

And that is all I have to say about that.


/archived for future reference